Reel Rants – Mandangle Unsheathed

This time around B is still MIA but fear not! We are once again joined by Nate Solt to discuss mandingo’s fighting with their dangles and tales of heroes and damsels as we go into the wild world of Django Unchained from creative mastermind Quentin Tarantino.

Remake Breakdown – One Missed Call

Welcome to the very first episode of Remake Breakdown. Join your hosts Mr. Jeff and his brother Kevin as we discuss the remake “One Missed Call” and why we feel like the phone call made to the producers pitching this idea probably should have been a missed call.

(There is a bit of sound degradation towards the end, but it is still perfectly audible. We are aware of it and will have it fixed before the next upload.)

What movies would you like us to tackle next? Let us know on the sandpaper podcast facebook page!

Evil Head

This week the B is missing and we are Joined by our friend from “Harrumph Appropriations” Tim Kelly. Join us as we ramble on getting raped by nature and the masterfully crafted visuals of practical effects and the true art of horror film as we delve deep into the world of Evil Dead.

 

 

Go check out the Harrumph Appropriations! Facebook page.

True Corn Grit

This time around we find the boys stuck in a wild west wonderland where the only thing they sling more then guns is corn bread. Join us as we talk about greasy little bastards in cabins and we tickle ourselves over our favorite lines by the one Jeff Reuben J. “Rooster” Cogburn Bridges as we get giddy and have almost nothing negative to say about True Grit. 

Ang Lee’s Angry Man

This week the boys are absorbed into the poorly written world of Ang Lee’s Hulk film. As always we hold nothing back just as the Hulk himself thrashes through buildings, we thrash through this awfully scripted film.

Super Mario Blunder: It Could Have Been So Much Better

This week we find the boys lost in yet again reptilian themed world as we travel down the pipe to Nazi-Dino land in another adventure as we tackle plumbers and awful videogame references in Super Mario Brothers: The worst video game adaptation of all time. We’ve even thought of a way to make a better version of this movie for free. Watch a friend play super mario brothers while you play this episode in the background and all you’ll have to do is put our asses on mute! Wallah! instant improvement.

As promised, the article we discussed explaining the disastrous events that culminated into what we reviewed this week. http://www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2011/10/10/mario-s-film-folly-the-true-story-behind-hollywood-s-biggest-gaming-blunder.aspx?PostPageIndex=3

Casey Anthony’s Turtle Trouble

Do you know what shitty mothers in sports gear and giant shelled reptiles have in common? Find out this week as we get filthy in the sewers of the mid 90’s as we discuss the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…Enjoy a change of pace as The B shows up Nick and Alec as he brings the Turtle Power in what we consider our best adventure yet

Jurassic Farse

This week we find the boys mildly lost on a tropical island surviving on dinosaur shit and fried raptor eggs. Join us as Nick continues to be the only intelligent one of this bullshit bunch with B obsessing with farting and Alec wonders off into 90’s nostalgia mode and then gets really inappropriate in this reptile filled edition of Reel Rants (almost) all about Jurassic Park.

Also as promised in the podcast as well

Welcome to White Night!

This week we find the boys in a mystery. The B is missing we are joined with Mr. Jeff as we discuss 2 movies full of hideous blood suckers as we do a mix matched comparison of the original version and the drastically minority lacking white washed remake of Fright Night. We hope listening to us ramble retardedly you aren’t nearly as lost as we were when recording it.

Ghost Smashers

This week we find the boys covered in sticky icky jizzoplasm. Join the Reel Rants crew where Nick drops some serious knowledge about ghosts and those who bust them as Alec and The B bust nuts and jokes this week on Reel Rants.